Tuesday, 25 September 2012

ED wins again

The day started so well, i woke at 6:30 and read a couple of chapter of The Kite Runner for English. I've read the book before, i would highly recommend it.
I went downstair to get breakfast which consisted of:
2weetabix biscuit and soya milk, an chopped apple and a slice of wholemeal toast with homemade strawberry jam.

Personally, i consider this a good ,big breakfast, in comparsion to the rest of my family.


Mum- 2slices of toast with butter and a cup of coffee
Younger Sister- 1 slice of toast and 2 chocolate waffles with a glass of milk
Twin sister- A large bowl of cereal with milk (she eats all the cereal and leaves the milk)
Dad- A bowl of crunchy nut with milk and a slice of thick wholemeal toast with butter.

Then at 10:30 i had Jordans crunchy bar.Both my mum and dad don't really snack, they may have a mint sweetie or a tomato but thats it.
Younger sister- She has juice, cereal bar and fruit or sweet/ crisps at the weekend
Twin sister: School days she has no snack but at the weekend she has chocolate bar or a biscuit


Lunch was at 12:30 i had a wholemeal pitta pocket with chicken and cucumber, a low fat strawberry yogurt and 2 ricecakes which i dipped in the yogurt, my mum thinks its weird but i think yogurt and rice cakes are a good combo.
Mum: 2 dairylea triangles and 4 crispbreads and packet of crisps
Dad: A cornbeef sandwich of thick bread with butter and a banana.
Younger sister: cheese spread sandwich, crisps, raisins, biscuit.
Twin sister: A packet of snack a jacks.

Now, i hate my people eat less than me and i know that i shouldnt but my ED tells me that am greedy and fat so the fact that my sister eats so little during the day is hard for me because my ED then tells me am weak as even my sister can eat less. I know that she comes home from school and has a banana and biscuit and then a normal dinner, but if i was too have a breakfast like hers and a lunch as small as her with no mid-morning snack i would get told off and most likely put back into hospital. Also, how she expects to function at school while eating so little is beyond me, no wonder she finds it hard to concentrate its because she hungry.

I know, i know, this is rich coming from me. Considering i use to eat a 1/2 an apple and 4 ricecakes a day but i was ill. It's the one thing i can't cope with my twin sister not eating- it annoys me anyone doesnt eat when i have to but when it's my twin sister i just breakdown. I've already had a little cry and i'm now dreading dinner as really dont want to eat. Especially because she went to the dentist today and is too scared to take her retainer out so is now not eating so if she can't take it out for dinner, it means she would have eaten just breakfast all day, which make my ED scream and shout and say things i dont even want to write. My ED thoughts with go throught the roof, my guilt will be huge and i'll probably have a little cry again, like I always do.


I HATE HAVING A ED I WANT TO BE NORMAL! :(

I THINK I'LL CURL UP IN MY BED AND CRY AND THEN HAVE A LITTLE SLEEP I HOPE THAT WHEN I WAKE UP EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL.

 

1 comment:

  1. I feel the exact same way. I can not stand it when I see my sister eat so little, but I have to eat more. I feel guilty and greedy and horrible! But, like you said, if I ate the way she did, I would be back in ed mode and I cannot do that. I do not understand also, how she can eat so little and still maintain concentration! Hugs. It is so hard not to compare ourselves with our family, especially our sister's who are closest to us!
    xoxo Hang in there strong fighter.

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