Sunday, 28 October 2012

a well deserved rest!

The last couple of weeks have been so so so so hectic, i've litterally worked, ate and slept!

But i've a weeks holidays, so sno school for a week. I'd like to say that it will be a week of 'me time' but sadly I have work to do and plus if i want to get good grades I need to put the work in so i'll be continueing my studies at home.

My work load includes:
-Biology past papers (in exam conditions)
-Mindmaps for English (establishing links between our chosen novels and poems)
-researh for applied science on energy efficient washing machines and simply experiments to shown solar/ chemical and wind energy.

I've also got my driving theory on Tuesday which includes a theory exam and a hazard preception test so I've been working my way through all the possible questions and doing practice exams. I really really hope i pass as i've spend so much time revising and it's cost me £31 so i dont really want it go to waste and for me to have to pay another £31 again to re-do the test, so fingers crossed, touch wood, what ever else you can do for luck!

On the plus side, I've sent my UCAS application ( i actually send it last Sunday) for those who don't UCAS are a company who deal with all university the applications in the UK. I really hope i get some offers, i'm so so scared that i won't get any, i will be so devastated if i dont get any offers.

My sister sent her's on Wednesday and has already got an offer, i am happy for her don't get me wrong, she really deserves it but a part of me is also really jealous as i sent my off early and i've had no offers, god i'm so horrible!

My plan is to try and not thing about it, what will be, will be.

I am however really excited for Tuesday night, as i've got a Halloween party to go and seems i never get invited to any of the 'cool' parties at school i was so happy to get asked to this one :) i dont why i care so much about what other people thing but i do. I'm going as Velma from Scooby-Doo, so i'll post some pictures up soon.

My eating is still little and often, probably still not enough but i just can't, some days i look in the mirror and i feel like such a fat blob of fat and other days i look and i think to myself i look awful, nothing fits, anything is hanging off me, i need to put on weight!

The fact of the matter is, i feel miserable thin and i feel miserable fat! i just wish i was normal, the 'perfect size' i could eat what ever i wanted and not have to feel guilty or digusted but full and happy.

I want to see food as moret than fuel, i want to enjoy the food i'm eating like i use to. :(
I want to eat desserts, chocolate, chips, cheesy pasta, etc.

I need to be healthy for Disneyland Paris in February or i wont be able to go :( Ohh i wish some thing could just happen over night!

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